The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
