me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
