Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i need some magic done to my vagina
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
