What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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