There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
