I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
