You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
