no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
