so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize