i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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