So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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