I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize