How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
two words...techno handjob
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
