dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
