okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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