Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
