You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
