Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I will pee on everything he values.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
