Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
