You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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