Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
