It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize