Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
