I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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