make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
