what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
