He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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