I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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