Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
