I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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