he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
