Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
