i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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