I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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