Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
