are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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