Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
