Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
