i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i dont even know how to be here
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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