Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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