Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize