i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
