From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
