So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize