bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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