Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
