i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
