I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
