$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
porn star boner night. come get it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
