It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
