I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
