all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
