Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
