we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i barfeds in our rink
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
