you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
