We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
