we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
