We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
