Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
