this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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