New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
