Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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