You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
