ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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