I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
