How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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