he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
You peed on a flamingo?!?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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