Non-Jews are for practice
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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