so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
