Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize