I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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