we have pet lesbian snakes
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
