I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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