I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
