Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
