Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
