I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize