He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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